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S DA FOUNTAIN Odyssey archive · est. 2000
Episodes 430 of 1,068
0429 6 Nov 1999 22 min

The YAK Problem

The rumor of the century has hit Odyssey: city councilwoman Julianne Walker is coming to school to announce something called YAK, and Nathaniel is sure it means the Year of Anti-Kids - a plan to ban ice cream, candy, toys, and fun itself. After all, why else would Whit and Eugene be hiding mountains of ice cream in the kitchen at Whit's End? Soon kids are emptying candy stores, stashing toys in a cave, and gorging themselves silly before the fun runs out, while Harlow Doyle prepares to battle an invasion of actual yaks. Mandy tries to stop the panic, but nobody listens - not even when Nathaniel stages a protest complete with a spinning strike on the merry-go-round. Then the assembly arrives, and YAK turns out to be the Yearly Advancement of Knowledge... and Whit's secret stockpile? A fifty-foot banana split to reward the students - which Nathaniel and Sarah, stuffed sick from their frenzy, are too queasy to touch.
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Nathaniel and Sarah learn that city councilwoman Julianne Walker will speak at a mysterious all-school assembly. Research reveals that Walker had once been a strict principal in Connellsville, where she banned radios, toys, comic books, candy, and even certain desserts after students abused their privileges. Nathaniel decides that her visit to Odyssey's middle school cannot mean anything good.

The two go to Whit's End for answers and catch Whit and Eugene hiding a huge supply of ice cream and toppings in the kitchen. Their secrecy convinces Nathaniel that Walker plans to use her place on the city council to outlaw ice cream throughout Odyssey. If she repeats everything she did in Connellsville, he reasons, comic books, television, video games, and nearly every other kind of fun may soon disappear as well.

A bulldozer near the elementary-school playground appears to support his theory. Then Sarah remembers hearing her father discuss a new law or program called YAK. Nathaniel invents a meaning for the letters - the Year of Anti-Kids - and assumes the coming assembly will announce it. Even the sight of Whit's car at City Hall becomes evidence that Whit has begged officials to save his business.

Mandy doubts the rumor, but Nathaniel spreads it as quickly as he can. Children rush to enjoy everything while it is still legal. Stores sell out of candy, kids hide their favorite toys in a cave, and Nathaniel plays video games until he can barely think. Harlow Doyle hears about the crisis but mistakes it for an invasion of shaggy animals. Armed with a book about yaks, he offers plans to send the creatures back to Central Asia.

Whit's End fills with children stuffing themselves with sweets and crowding into the Imagination Station. Whit finally shuts down ice-cream service after the sugar-fueled customers become uncontrollable. Mandy tells him that Nathaniel started the panic. Although she has tried to correct the rumor, most of the children are having too much fun with their last supposed celebration to listen.

The next morning, Nathaniel and Sarah suffer the consequences of their excess. They feel sick, have trouble thinking, and dread a history quiz they were too distracted to study for. When the assembly is moved forward, Nathaniel treats the change as proof that adults know the children have discovered the plot. A notice that Whit's End will close before the assembly convinces everyone that the shop itself is being shut down.

Nathaniel turns the panic into a protest. Sarah ties herself to the monkey bars, Pete goes on a spinning strike aboard the merry-go-round, and Nathaniel delivers a passionate defense of yo-yos, cotton candy, and other pleasures that seem to serve no practical purpose. Harlow joins the demonstration on behalf of peaceful relations between people and actual yaks.

Mandy is shaken by the number of people who believe the rumor. Whit tells her that a lie remains a lie even when a million people accept it. Preparing wisely for a genuine emergency is sensible, but panicking over rumors - or over matters beyond one's control - means forgetting to trust God. Mandy understands, though following that truth feels difficult when nearly all her friends believe something else.

At the assembly, Nathaniel sees that the cafeteria's candy machines are gone and assumes the ban has already begun. Julianne Walker finally explains that YAK stands for the Yearly Advancement of Knowledge. The program will help parents and teachers work together on individual learning goals. The bulldozers are present because students have raised enough money for a new science wing, not because Walker hates playgrounds.

Whit then reveals why he has stockpiled ice cream, closed his shop, and helped remove the vending machines: the school asked him to prepare a fifty-foot banana split as a reward for the students' work. Nathaniel admits that he and his friends could not have been more mistaken and apologizes for refusing to believe Whit. Unfortunately, their frantic feast has left them unable to face another bite. While everyone else lines up for the enormous treat, Nathaniel and Sarah go searching for broccoli and water - and Harlow promptly forgets his latest yak plan when he sees the ice cream.