Bernard and Joseph

Bernard Walton is squeegeeing the windows at Whit's End when one of the Powell kids comes barreling through the door and nearly knocks him over. The boy turns out to be Artie, and Bernard, who grew up with three brothers and two sisters himself, makes a point of knowing every name in a big family so nobody gets left out of roll call. Artie has something on his mind. He loves his brothers and sisters, he says, but sometimes they can be a big pain. Bernard tells him it could be worse, and settles in to prove it with the story of a boy named Joseph, who had eleven brothers.

Joseph's family lived in Canaan and raised sheep. Trouble started early: the brothers had gotten lazy while watching the flocks, several sheep were lost, and Joseph told their father about it. Worse, their father Jacob loved Joseph best, and gave him a beautiful coat of many colors that none of the others received. After that, Bernard says, the brothers could not say one kind word to him. Then came the dreams. God spoke to Joseph about the future through them, and Joseph, who was never much for discretion, announced every one. In the first, his bundle of wheat stood straight up and his brothers' bundles bowed low before it. In the second, the sun, the moon, and eleven stars bowed down to him. The brothers sneered and called him a dreamer, and even Jacob scolded him for it, though afterward the old man quietly wondered what the dream might mean.

When the brothers take the flocks to Dothan, Jacob sends Joseph out to see how they are getting along. Judah spots the coat in the distance and calls the others. Simeon argues that Joseph will never bother them again if they are rid of him, and Judah presses Reuben hard: the coat is a mark of favoritism, a sign their father means to give the rights of the firstborn to Joseph instead of to Reuben, the oldest. Reuben refuses to shed blood, so he steers them toward throwing Joseph alive into one of the dry wells, secretly planning to come back later, pull his brother out, and return him home. They strip off the coat, drop Joseph into the pit over his pleading, and sit down to supper. Reuben cannot stand to stay, and while he is gone a caravan of Ishmaelite merchants passes by on the road to Egypt. Judah has an idea. The brothers sell Joseph for twenty pieces of silver. Reuben comes back to a rescue with nobody left to rescue, and the brothers spatter the beautiful coat with goat's blood and carry it home. Jacob believes a wild animal has eaten his son, tears his garments, and says he will go to his grave mourning.

In Egypt, Joseph is sold to Potiphar, captain of Pharaoh's bodyguard and chief executioner. Everything Joseph touches succeeds, and he gives the credit to the Lord his God, so Potiphar puts him in charge of the entire household. Crops flourish, flocks multiply, and for a while all is smooth sailing. Then Potiphar's wife begins pursuing Joseph. He keeps out of her way until the day she corners him alone in the house, and when she demands a kiss he refuses to commit such a wicked sin against God. He tears himself away and runs, and his coat slips off in her hands. She screams, accuses him to her husband that night, and holds up the coat as proof. Potiphar believes her completely and throws Joseph into prison, where God is still with him, and where the chief jailer soon puts him in charge of the whole place.

Dreams got Joseph into trouble, Bernard says, and dreams will get him out. Then his beeper goes off. He has another job to get to, and he leaves Artie hanging, suggesting the boy could always read the rest for himself. Artie admits that after hearing about Joseph, life in a big family does not sound so bad. He has just one complaint left. He would like his own toothbrush.