B-TV: Idolatry

The kids of Odyssey present another episode of B-TV, and this time the show tackles the topic of idolatry. Connie Kendall hosts from a museum of ancient artifacts alongside archaeologist and adventurer Dr. Harrison Jones, who proudly shows off the idols he has collected from around the world, including an Asherah pole, a statue of Baal, and Dagon (plus a fire extinguisher, which he admits is not an idol but is still very important). When Connie hints that his exhibit is missing a few pieces, Dr. Jones assumes they must be hidden in far-off pyramids, mountains, or rainforests, but Connie promises the missing idols are much closer to home.

A series of comic sketches makes her point. First, Moses comes down the mountain with the stone tablets only to find the Israelites bowing to a golden calf while Aaron lamely claims he simply threw gold jewelry into the fire and the calf came out on its own. A quote from John Calvin follows: "The human heart is a factory of idols." Next, a commercial parody introduces the "iDOL," a gadget from a tech company that promises to help busy people finally put career, money, and possessions ahead of God. Then a team of mystery-solving kids unmasks a spooky "idol" haunting a shoelace factory and discovers its true identity: Covetousness, who confesses that loving anything more than God leads to all kinds of sin, grumbling that it would have gotten away with it if not for those meddling kids and their enormous dog (which is actually a cat). Connie sums up the lesson: whatever we love more than God becomes an idol, whether it is money, fame, friendships, family, sports, or hobbies. Even good things can become idols.

To illustrate, B-TV presents a story called "Gifts for Madge and Guy, Part 2." Guy and Madge are a poor married couple, so broke that they have sold their porch and hired their neighbor Ethel to stand in as one. Last Christmas, Guy sold his treasured gold watch to buy Madge jeweled combs, while Madge sold her long, silky hair to buy Guy a gold watch chain. Now Ethel gives her two-week notice as their front porch to become a second-floor hotel balcony, and she spots a newspaper ad that changes everything: jeweler Morty Fishbine wants a hard-working guy to dig for gold under his shop, where Guy's father's old watch hangs for sale in the window. Desperate to buy it back, Guy takes the job.

Between chapters of the story, Connie shows Dr. Jones that worship takes many forms. His own talking wallet, Wally, points out that a suspicious amount of his money goes to brown fedoras and leather bullwhips, and his talking wristwatch tattles that he spends only an hour a week in church but hours binge-watching shows and dusting his action figure collection. A pirate sketch drives the danger home: a ship called the HMS Bounty springs a "God-shaped hole" when it turns away from God, and no matter how many idols the captain stuffs into the leak, none of them can fill it. Only turning back to God can.

Meanwhile, Guy exhausts himself working days as a grocery store welcome mat and nights in the mine, hiding it all from Madge. When she finally gets the truth out of him, she gently reminds him that the watch chain is a symbol of their love just the way it is, and Guy resolves to quit. But before he can, Morty announces they have struck gold. Suddenly rich, Guy buys back his father's watch, showers Madge with dresses and solid gold combs, and moves them into a luxury penthouse. Yet the money changes him. He is always at the office, chasing investments, insisting, "You can never have enough money." Madge answers sadly, "But all I want is you, Guy."

The final sketch imagines the Apostle Paul hauled in for interrogation on the suspicious charge of being content. Though he is poor, cold, and beaten up, Paul calmly explains that his contentment lies in Christ Jesus, and that nothing else can truly satisfy unless a person first finds contentment in him, no matter what his frustrated interrogators threaten to take away, including his lunch, his chair, and even his pet monkey, Mr. Bananas.

In the story's conclusion, everything collapses. The gold turns out to be fool's gold, the checks bounce, and repo men strip the penthouse bare, taking even Guy's precious father's watch. Sitting alone in the empty rooms, Guy realizes only one thing matters: finding Madge. She has been in the kitchen all along, and she tells him plainly that all the wealth was a distraction that stole him away from her. Guy finally understands. "It was never about the gifts," he admits; it was about the love they represented, and he promises Madge she will always be the first love in his heart. The reunited couple happily sings together in the kitchen, which has great acoustics.

Connie explains that the story is an allegory: Guy's love for Madge represents our love for God, and when Guy began loving the watch and money more than Madge, they became idols that only multiplied. The way to destroy idols is not fire or acid but turning back to God, because when we love God first, as Jesus commands in Matthew 22:37, every other love falls into its proper place and becomes better, not lost. Dr. Jones declares that he now realizes he has spent his whole life collecting idols, and not just the ones in the museum. Though just as Connie wraps up the lesson, he cheerfully adds that he has thousands more stored in wooden crates in a giant secret warehouse, guarded by top men.