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S DA FOUNTAIN Odyssey archive · est. 2000
Episodes 943 of 1,068
0923 23 Oct 2021 24 min

Please Adjust Your Frequency

Zoe, Buddy, and Jay are recording a radio detective drama for English class - "The Case of the Blue Diamond," starring a hard-boiled sleuth, a stolen ring, and a squawking crow that will not leave the studio. But Zoe keeps hearing lines she never wrote, and the reason is Buddy: he's been secretly rewriting her script to save his English grade. Soon the two are at war over the ending - tearful reunion or shocking betrayal? - while Jay pitches mobsters, crocodiles, and Smouse Miracle Water, and his cousin Vincent buries every take under runaway sound effects. Then word comes that the principal wants to play their drama in front of the whole school... and they still don't have an ending. A joke about recording Zoe and Buddy's bickering sparks the answer: make the detective story about a granddaughter and grandfather who always fight. Together they discover the diamond was never real - but the family they patch up is, and so is the one behind the microphone.
Found on A Slippery Slope Album 71 · 6 episodes

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Three friends are crowded into a makeshift recording studio, creating an old-fashioned radio detective drama called "The Case of the Blue Diamond" for Miss Adelaide's English class. Zoe Grant wrote the script and stars as Dee Amsel, an elegant lady in distress. Buddy Norman directs and plays the hard-boiled private eye Max Incognito. Jay Smouse handles every other role - on the condition that he gets to plug his dubious product, Smouse Miracle Water, and that his cousin Vincent runs the soundboard. Vincent, who gets bored easily, keeps flooding the recording with runaway sound effects, including a squawking crow that prompts the recurring plea, "Would somebody get this crow out of here?"

In the story-within-the-story, Dee Amsel hires Max to prove that her grandfather has stolen her late grandmother's blue diamond ring and replaced it with a cheap imitation. Max takes her to Freddy, a shady jeweler whom Jay insists on playing with a Russian accent. Freddy recognizes the fake as one of his own creations but reveals he stopped selling that line three years ago, deepening the mystery of where the ring really came from.

Trouble erupts behind the microphone when Zoe notices her dialogue keeps changing. Buddy confesses he has been secretly rewriting her script; he bombed his last English test and desperately needs a good grade. When they record the final scene, Buddy hijacks it completely, cutting Zoe's last five pages and unveiling his own twist: Dee herself sold the real ring and is framing her grandfather. Zoe is furious. Buddy, who has read a lot of comic books, insists her ending had no tension, while Zoe - an award-winning school journalist - scoffs that comic books are the ramen noodles of literature.

Jay offers his own ending as a compromise, which turns out to feature the grandfather as a mobster threatening to feed Max to his pet crocodiles. Zoe shuts that down too, and Buddy reluctantly agrees to record her original version, in which the grandfather tearfully admits he hid the ring because he feared Dee would leave him forever. But Buddy sabotages the scene with sarcastic ad-libs, complaining that a mystery with no case to solve isn't a mystery at all. The argument boils over, with Vincent ringing a boxing bell between rounds, until Zoe threatens to quit the project entirely.

Then a message arrives from Miss Adelaide: the principal, a huge fan of old detective shows, wants to air their drama at the school assembly in front of everyone. Now they need an ending, fast. Jay jokes that they could just record Zoe and Buddy fighting for twenty-seven minutes - and the joke sparks a real idea. What if Dee and her grandfather were the ones who always fought?

In the ending they create together, Max digs up the real truth: Dee's grandparents were broke all along. The ring was dime-store jewelry from the start, because they could never afford better. Her proud grandmother - who once gave a man a black eye for mocking her fake ring - had hoped to buy Dee a real diamond by the time she married, but died before she could. Grandfather and granddaughter finally admit they have both made a mess of things and reconcile. Dee never gets a real diamond, but as Max observes, she has her grandfather back - "worth more than a blue diamond any day."

The friends are thrilled with how the story came together, message and all. Buddy apologizes for mocking Zoe's ending, and Zoe admits hers wasn't quite perfect after all - even allowing that if comic books taught Buddy to wrap up a story like that, they can't be all bad. Naturally, Vincent's sound effects still get the last word.

Around the story

The host segments that opened and closed the broadcast.
Closing

After the story ends, Chris talks about how Buddy, Zoe, and Jay all wanted to make their story the best it could be, but points out that solving a problem gets hard when people force in their own ideas instead of listening to each other and working as a team. She says this is true for school projects, family life, and even fixing a broken friendship, and she shares the Bible's words from James 1:19, that everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. The key, she says, is staying humble and caring more about a good outcome than about whose idea wins. Then, in a funny little scene, a crow suddenly attacks Chris while she is talking - she yelps, and Buddy shouts for somebody to get the crow out of there. Once the bird is gone, Chris thanks her helper, finds her place again, and calmly finishes the program.