B-TV: To Tell the Truth

John Avery Whittaker hosts a special edition of BTV Investigates, and today's topic is truth: what it is, where it comes from, and how to recognize it. He broadcasts from the Odyssey Courthouse, where Connie Kendall has come before Judge Simon Jones over a simple parking ticket. Her lawyer is Eugene Meltsner, who objects before Connie even finishes being sworn in, insisting that even a tiny case like this one hangs on the big question of what truth really means. While the exasperated judge listens to Eugene's philosophical arguments, the program weaves in sketches and stories that each look at truth from a different angle.

The longest of these follows Harlequin Doylicus, a wisecracking "private Roman eye" in ancient Jerusalem. He is hired by Mrs. Dilberius, a servant in the household of Governor Pontius Pilate, because the governor's wife, Claudia, cannot sleep. Claudia is haunted by nightmares about Jesus of Nazareth, the man her husband executed, and she cannot rest until she knows the truth about who he really was. There is one more complication, as Mrs. Dilberius delicately puts it: "He's not so dead anymore." Doylicus takes the case and starts interviewing witnesses. Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council, describes meeting Jesus secretly at night and hearing that people must be born again to enter God's kingdom; he admits the claims sound crazy, yet he found Jesus calm, wise, and completely in control, perhaps the most sane man he has ever met. Miriam, a follower whom Jesus healed, tells the detective that Jesus was far more than a good teacher or a nice guy. He claimed to be the Son of God, died on the cross for people's sins, and rose from the grave, and she points out that his followers are being imprisoned and even killed for saying so. None of them, she argues, would suffer like that for a lie. She adds that Jesus did not just tell the truth; he said he is the truth, the way, and the life. Finally, the Roman centurion who oversaw the crucifixion seeks Doylicus out and describes a condemned man who asked God to forgive his executioners, and the darkness and earthquake that followed. His conclusion: "He was who he said he was. The Son of God."

Between the detective's interviews, the other segments pile up lessons about truth. A "Great Moments in History" sketch replays young George Washington and the cherry tree with a twist: George truthfully denies chopping down his father's tree, because the tree he felled belongs to the angry neighbor next door. A fable tells of Mr. Truth accepting a lunch truce with Mr. Falsehood, promising not to speak a word against him. When Falsehood dodges the bill by falsely accusing the innocent waitress of cheating him, Mr. Truth realizes his silence has helped deception win, and he breaks off the friendship forever. Whit draws the moral that truth that stays silent is no truth at all. In another story, a king has three blindfolded men touch an elephant; one declares it a giant wineskin, another a huge snake, the third a sword-like sphere. But the king rejects his adviser's conclusion that truth is elusive and depends on personal experience: the animal is an elephant no matter what anyone mistakes it for. And in a tale from the days of the Babylonian exile, three young bodyguards of King Darius debate the strongest thing in the world. One argues for wine, which makes fools of the mightiest men; another flatters the king himself; but the scholar Zerubbabel declares that truth is strongest, because it never dies, cannot be bribed, and lasts forever. "Blessed be the God of Truth!" the court cries, and Darius rewards Zerubbabel by letting the Jewish exiles return to Jerusalem to rebuild God's temple.

Back in the courtroom, Eugene finally lands his point. Connie's ticket says she parked in the no-parking zone ten minutes before 6 p.m., when parking there becomes legal. But Eugene, who helps calibrate City Hall's computers, reveals that the timekeeping system was frozen for fifteen minutes during a recalibration, so Connie actually parked at 6:05. What looked like the simple truth rested on a faulty assumption, and the judge dismisses the case. Meanwhile, Doylicus brings his findings back to Mrs. Dilberius: given everything Jesus said and did, he could not have been merely a good teacher, a madman, a con artist, or a rebel, which leaves only one possibility for Claudia to face. When Mrs. Dilberius realizes with horror that this would mean the governor killed the Son of God, the detective quietly answers, "We all did, ma'am," adding that, happily for everyone, Jesus did not let it end there. Whit closes the broadcast by explaining that for Christians, following the truth ultimately means following a person: Jesus of Nazareth, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.