A Class Act

Edwin Blackgaard, the grand actor who runs a theater in Odyssey, has a problem: nobody is coming to his shows. He and his faithful assistant, Walter Shakespeare, are so short of money that they have been reduced to staging crowd-pleasers like Oklahoma - set in Alaska, so they could reuse the costumes from The Call of the Wild. Then an anonymous letter arrives, offering Edwin a generous sum of money to teach an acting class. The only condition is that he must not turn away anyone who wants to attend. Edwin is horrified at the thought of listening to "country folk" butcher great plays, but when Shakespeare reminds him that the bank is about to repossess their furniture, he swallows his pride. It is a matter of survival.

Over at Whit's End, John Whittaker encourages his young friends to sign up. Jack Davis is in right away. Connie Kendall hesitates - Edwin's brother still makes her uneasy - but Whit assures her that Edwin has nothing to do with him. Eugene Meltsner is eager to expand his "thespian abilities," and Connie talks a reluctant Charles Thompson into joining too.

The first class is not what Edwin dreamed of. His students struggle through mouth exercises and an assignment to "become" an inanimate object, while chatty young Shannon Everett brags about her cheerleading. Afterward the parents arrive: Maureen Thompson thanks Edwin warmly for including Charles, and Shannon's wealthy father, Richard Everett, promises his "little pumpkin" a backyard pool if she makes him proud. Edwin privately moans to Shakespeare that he has scraped more talent out from under his fingernail. Then Miss Minion delivers a second anonymous note - a thank-you from the "secret friend," in the same handwriting as the first. Edwin realizes his mysterious sponsor must be someone in the class, or connected to it. Since he cannot risk offending the wrong person, he decides he must be nice to everyone.

Being nice gets expensive. When Connie offers a play she has written about people trapped on a desert island, Edwin - who privately thinks her writing is plainly awful - declares it a brilliant suggestion. Jack wants to play a tough detective and grow a mustache; Eugene wants to be a medieval troubadour with a ukulele; Shannon will be a starlet whose yacht sank; Charles wants to be a superhero who rescues everyone. Edwin smiles and agrees to all of it. Whit is baffled: he has read Connie's play, and he told her honestly that it was not a good one. Why would Blackgaard want to produce it?

Weeks of painful rehearsal later, Whit visits the theater and Edwin confesses everything. Whit tells him he has put himself in an impossible position - he is trying to please everyone, and he has let money become the center of his thinking. Whoever gave the money surely wanted him to truly teach his students, even when the truth is hard to hear. Edwin insists his hands are tied - unless he can figure out who the donor is.

That night, Edwin bolts awake with the answer. Connie, Eugene, Jack, and Charles all come from families without much money. That leaves Shannon and her free-spending father. Certain the Everetts are his sponsors, Edwin drops the niceness at once: he trashes Connie's script, cuts Eugene's ukulele, orders Jack to pluck out his mustache, and takes away Charles's cape. His own new play hands everyone insulting little parts - and makes Shannon the star.

The performance is an utter disaster. Shannon butchers what few lines she remembers while the others stomp about as a donkey, a tree, and worse. Afterward Richard Everett storms backstage and reveals that he was indeed the secret donor - and he is furious. He never pretended his daughter was talented, and Edwin, who should have known better, let her make a fool of herself in front of everyone. The promised money is gone, and after weeks of aggravation Edwin is right back where he started. As Whit gently reminds him, that's showbiz.